Well, I had to update. It has been over a week andddd, I AM SO HAPPY THAT AP CHEM IS OVER. My exam was today, and it was not fun, at all. However, it is ovahhh. Yeeeuhhhh. Time to focus on another phase. ie: Getting my job soon, getting my prom stuff, Student Government elections, and SUMMER IN D.C.!
Yippie, I'm running for President unopposed, lol. So, I will be President next year for sure. I am quite pleased. Running against someone isn't important to me. Doing what I need to do as President, however, is my goal amongst all other things. Um, I'll be hella busy with all of that. It is mandatory to become the student member on the Board of Education as President of Student Gov, and I already know who I'm choosing as for the second member - Seany G! Lol, or Sean. One of my better friends. Also helps that his Dad is on the BOE already, lmao. That's a pretty good look. The point is, I have to be at EVERY board meeting. Demanding? Quite. Impossible? Never. Worthwhile? Of course. I will be learning a lot from the whole experience. Going to St. Albans School of Public Service this summer is also a VERY good look for me. It will definitely put me where I need to be, and give me a lot of insight and knowledge in public policy. Bossy? I know. LOL.
In addition to this madness, I'm trying to fit in time for sports, and a steady j-0-b. I'm hunting now, so we'll see what happens. I get easily frustrated with job applications. I NEVER get called back! Of course, I follow up and all of that, but nothing ever goes through. Nonetheless, I'm determined to get shit done, no matter what. I will be getting a job, SOON. Bossy? I knowww, I knowww. lol!
Today was not the best day. I felt like 30 different ways ALL at once, lol. I was frustrated, upset, confuseddd, apathetic, nostalgic, and so many other mixed feelings that I just didn't feel like explaining to anyone. I would sound crazy...
The Chem test was very overwhelming. After that was over, I felt SO empty. Lol, mentally and emotionally. I wanted everything after that to just go smoothly. Basically, I wanted things to happen MY way. They didn't, as usual. Lmao, the WORST part about it is that I get upset as if someone let me down... but, I come up with these conclusions in my mind, and I get my OWN hopes up. In the fantasy world in my mind, lol, things happen so perfectly. My expectations are insane. When people don't live up to them, I look at them funny, as if they KNEW what I wanted them to do. Yet, I expect people to know what I want without telling them...
I miss how things were BEFORE the insignificance became the most important part of my relationship with him. He let me down, and I couldn't believe that it happened the way it did. I still wish that none of it ever happened... It changed me in SO many ways. Now, I look at life as if everyone has the same twisted image of equality. And then this question arises — AM I JUST NOT WORTH IT TO YOU?
I hate this whole story, and I hate how it affected me. I have never been so offended and unappreciated in my life. Thanks, a lot... but don't worry, I looooove being a black girl, lmao. I LOVE who I am. I hate that I am selfish, and I'll admit to that. That's a character flaw that I CAN change. But I could never change my identity, my race, my culture, my family, or my intrinsic ability to love unconditionally. So yea, if you can't be unconditional, you are a complete waste of time. 8 months to be exact..
Ah, so I just caught myself venting.. lol. But this is what it's for, pretty much. My life, and everything that I will never get a chance to say or explain to anyone. It alllll comes here, whenever I get the opportunity to post. Blogging is super cooool! Lol.
Sidebar, It's funny when people come back into your life just to remind you of how far off you were back then. This person will never read this, but nigga you are stoooopid. Like, what did you do? Bang your face against the keyboard when you sent that nutty ass message? Honestly, you won't ever get that far with me again in yo' life. So keep that shit movin'. I'll talk to you when I talk to you... lmao. Butttt, we can still have lunch, dinner, or see a movieeeeee — your treat. lmao! No, that tops it all. THAT was bossy. Lol, call it what you want. I'm actually feeling a lot better than I felt earlier. Lol, so yeaaaa this week should be interesting...
-IJeezy.
Yippie, I'm running for President unopposed, lol. So, I will be President next year for sure. I am quite pleased. Running against someone isn't important to me. Doing what I need to do as President, however, is my goal amongst all other things. Um, I'll be hella busy with all of that. It is mandatory to become the student member on the Board of Education as President of Student Gov, and I already know who I'm choosing as for the second member - Seany G! Lol, or Sean. One of my better friends. Also helps that his Dad is on the BOE already, lmao. That's a pretty good look. The point is, I have to be at EVERY board meeting. Demanding? Quite. Impossible? Never. Worthwhile? Of course. I will be learning a lot from the whole experience. Going to St. Albans School of Public Service this summer is also a VERY good look for me. It will definitely put me where I need to be, and give me a lot of insight and knowledge in public policy. Bossy? I know. LOL.
In addition to this madness, I'm trying to fit in time for sports, and a steady j-0-b. I'm hunting now, so we'll see what happens. I get easily frustrated with job applications. I NEVER get called back! Of course, I follow up and all of that, but nothing ever goes through. Nonetheless, I'm determined to get shit done, no matter what. I will be getting a job, SOON. Bossy? I knowww, I knowww. lol!
Today was not the best day. I felt like 30 different ways ALL at once, lol. I was frustrated, upset, confuseddd, apathetic, nostalgic, and so many other mixed feelings that I just didn't feel like explaining to anyone. I would sound crazy...
The Chem test was very overwhelming. After that was over, I felt SO empty. Lol, mentally and emotionally. I wanted everything after that to just go smoothly. Basically, I wanted things to happen MY way. They didn't, as usual. Lmao, the WORST part about it is that I get upset as if someone let me down... but, I come up with these conclusions in my mind, and I get my OWN hopes up. In the fantasy world in my mind, lol, things happen so perfectly. My expectations are insane. When people don't live up to them, I look at them funny, as if they KNEW what I wanted them to do. Yet, I expect people to know what I want without telling them...
I miss how things were BEFORE the insignificance became the most important part of my relationship with him. He let me down, and I couldn't believe that it happened the way it did. I still wish that none of it ever happened... It changed me in SO many ways. Now, I look at life as if everyone has the same twisted image of equality. And then this question arises — AM I JUST NOT WORTH IT TO YOU?
I hate this whole story, and I hate how it affected me. I have never been so offended and unappreciated in my life. Thanks, a lot... but don't worry, I looooove being a black girl, lmao. I LOVE who I am. I hate that I am selfish, and I'll admit to that. That's a character flaw that I CAN change. But I could never change my identity, my race, my culture, my family, or my intrinsic ability to love unconditionally. So yea, if you can't be unconditional, you are a complete waste of time. 8 months to be exact..
Ah, so I just caught myself venting.. lol. But this is what it's for, pretty much. My life, and everything that I will never get a chance to say or explain to anyone. It alllll comes here, whenever I get the opportunity to post. Blogging is super cooool! Lol.
Sidebar, It's funny when people come back into your life just to remind you of how far off you were back then. This person will never read this, but nigga you are stoooopid. Like, what did you do? Bang your face against the keyboard when you sent that nutty ass message? Honestly, you won't ever get that far with me again in yo' life. So keep that shit movin'. I'll talk to you when I talk to you... lmao. Butttt, we can still have lunch, dinner, or see a movieeeeee — your treat. lmao! No, that tops it all. THAT was bossy. Lol, call it what you want. I'm actually feeling a lot better than I felt earlier. Lol, so yeaaaa this week should be interesting...
-IJeezy.
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