What is there to question? Nothing at all. I know what I want. I know what I am searching for, and I'm not in a rush to find it. I would much rather have no one than to have someone who is not right for me. This stupid chase that we all go through disgusts me. When it's right, everything comes together. When it isn't, there's a force between it that pushes you away. Fighting against it only further leads to the realization - THIS is not what I need.
I don't need anyone in my life to hold me back - hence the reason why I have a handful of friends. It is beyond troubling to be at constant unease. I genuinely want to have more friends, who will not hold me back, but advance me to the next stage of my life. At this point, I think it won't happen in high school, at all.
I keep all of this in mind every single day. I need nothing that this society has to offer - this bullshit that people deem normality. I went through more than anyone could imagine throughout my high school years. I became apart of every crowd there is. I won't say "don't judge me," because you will anyway. I am trying to exemplify the essence of real, whether or not anyone thinks I am successfully doing so. I find it hard to fake feelings. Call it what you want.
If I can't see the bigger picture, it means nothing. No one relates to my utmost thoughts. I have the strangest imagination, dreams, goals, and ideals. I have never met anyone who has truly embraced this about me. Yet, this is asking someone to understand things that are incomprehensible.
Inspire me for ONCE. Is there anyone who possibly could? Yes. There is. I met someone who almost completely understood me, which is extremely honorable. But, still in search of...
I climb for me. I reach for me. I do things for me and MY future. I stumble, of course. I slip up, and consider trivial things that surround me, but I always refocus.
I WILL NO LONGER SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS THAN WHAT I DESERVE.
-IJ
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