Weird fact about me...I love cutting my own hair. I get this strange satisfaction in seeing hair all over my bathroom sink, and after I'm done, I don't really care how short my hair is afterwards. It's just, "bye bye split ends," and then I'm happy. Yay. NO, it isn't this drastic, so don't get all in my face about it. I just love Kelis. Always have. Her haircuts are the dopest ON HER. If I had the balls, I'd so cut it this short, but I don't, so I'll just put her face up here.
I have to sweep & mop my bathroom and my kitchen before like 6. So that should be tons of fun. But anyway...Well, right now, everything is almost perfect. It will never be perfect, so I'm not complaining, but things seem to be going my way lately. Honor Roll, damn near straight A's. Ugh, I want them so bad! Just one B. But Q4 should definitely be straight A's... My AP test is coming soon, and after that, my AP Chem class is completely over. Yaaay. And right now, all we're doing is review, so there isn't anything to grade us on. Lol, so yea. I'm excited that this year is almost at its end.
"Some People Hate", Jay-Z. It's on the Gift & the Curse. That song describes how things are for me right now. At this point in my life, I make a lot of my own decisions, and I try not to stick too close to anyone. A lot of people would LOVE to see me fail. A lot of people would love to see me unhappy. Ironically, some of them are my "friends". I live for it, though. Seriously. I love when people have something negative to say to me in all of my glory, lol. Sounds weird, but when I'm doing really well and I'm excelling past everyone around me, people look at me funny, as if I'm not allowed to do well. Well, pay attention world: I AM NOT AN UNDERACHIEVER, so I guess everyone will have to get used to that.
Here's the thing, though. I will always be humble and modest about my own success. I never try to blurt it out or brag. Yet, I alwayssssss notice that people will try to brag PURPOSELY about something they've achieved. And I'm like.. GREAT JOB! I'm SO happy for you. SIKE.
I don't care, I still don't care, and I'll never acknowledge you or congratulate you when you're being pompous & arrogant. Clown. I will never do that whole bragging thing, so don't worry, you could never say I am being hypocritical about all of this. I don't expect anyone (in school) to care about what's going on in my life, what I've been doing throughout this school year, or how hard I've been working. So I'll leave it at that.
Everything is still great though. On to another topic, just for me to get my thoughts out. Lately, I've been feeling like... soon, I'll forget about it all. I'll forget about everything that I thought I would never forget. Just as the days go by, I'm going along with them, and there is nothing that's slowing me down from moving on. So what do I do? I keep going until something stops me. If nothing does, I'll keep going. Simple. I'm in a weird position though. I can think that everything is how it should be, but I'm never sure. Yes, he tells me everything, and I love that & I appreciate that a lot, but sometimes I do feel a certain way about EIGHT other people being in the picture. Most of the time, I understand. But I feel like I'm always trying to figure shit out. Like, today. I'm like, wait wha? When did that happen? Am I missing something?
I never gave him that whole "you do you" thing... but I think he gave me that before. Ugh. So where am I? ...I guess I'm in the middle of it all. Exactly where I didn't want to be, lol. Do I really want to forget about everything from the past at this point? I'd like to, and I am starting to. But sometimes, I feel like just another one the girls who's fighting back & forth for his attention. No, I'm not fighting for any attention. I'd never do that, it's really not my style, but I guess it would be nice if he could prove that wrong for me, so that I could REALLY forget about going back to what I thought was right.
I'm done now. I have to go clean up before my Mom gets here. Yippieeee. My non-stop song is currently - a Drake song. I KNOW! lol, Lame & typical, OF COURSE. But, seriously, I love it. Lissteennn!
-IJ
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